Freitag, 8. April 2011

real reasons



when something happens to us, we generally notice the bad things more don't we?
outside my window the spring is happening, while I'll be staying home the second week around, sick. 
I missed the time when the flower buds are just coming out of the soft, fat earth. I missed the trees getting the green haze made of emerging leaves around the 
branches. I am missing them blooming and throwing the flower petals down the street, where they are carried away by the warm new wind.
am I sad?
I was angry, yes. especially when someone said to me 'well, everything happens for a reason - if you had to be sick so heavily, there was some reason in that, maybe your body was just asking for a rest'. 
I hate sentences like that. what sense could there be in being incapable of anything, while the time is hot in the lab, the experiments just going to boost? while everyone is reporting on BBQs, cycling, hiking, whatever...


and yet, looking at the picture that, after two years, I finally finished drawing in the time I was recovering, I am starting to think about the reasons.


why do bad things happen to us? I guess, this question is as old as the world, especially since mankind started to believe in a good god.
why do we fall for bad people?
what good or at least sensible can come out of being deceived by your best friend?
what sense does it make when your great love suddenly dies?
do you ever get these events in your life evened up with the good stuff?


I guess, I cannot answer that until I've lived until the end.
I just hope, that at least this is true: everything is a part of a grand plot. and our being is a part of it, as well. 
as the world is not happening around us, but inside of us.
and I hope to experience that sometime - like a drop of water, falling into the sea, realizes that it has always just been a part of it.

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